


Feel Something - A Poetry Book

by Shootingstarprince



Category: Original - Fandom
Genre: LGBT, LGBTQ, Original Poetry - Freeform, Poetry, Slam - Freeform, Slam Poetry, Vent Poetry, original - Freeform, poem, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-11-19 10:08:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11311170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shootingstarprince/pseuds/Shootingstarprince
Summary: This is the only work I'll post on here where I won't say "I hope you enjoyed" because poetry isn't always supposed to be something you enjoy. It's supposed to make you think, it's supposed to stop you, it's supposed to rattle your bones. It's supposed to make you feel something. It doesn't always rhyme, it's not always perfect and it's not supposed to, but if it makes you feel something, that's enough.So, I won't say "I hope you enjoyed" I will say "I hope I made you feel."[A collection of my original poetry]





	1. [DON'T PLAY HOLY]

**Author's Note:**

> For The LGBT+ Kids

You surf through pornhub, looking through the tag "lesbian sex".

But when two females want to get married,  
It's suddenly gross and a discrace,  
A huge "fuck you" to everything your God ever created.  
But when you look at videos of two girls performing oral sex,  
It's suddenly alright because it was made for your benefit.

But when it's about rights, treating people as equal,  
you play the role of that "Good Christian".  
You say that only a man's body should be in between a woman legs,  
While you masturbate to your ideas of "step-sisters" and premarital sex.   
Or picking the cherries of naive little girls,   
Fantasizing about women screaming: "Please stop, it hurts."

When their love is no longer in some way beneficial,   
When lesbian girls ended up not being so fucking artificial.   
You picked up your pitchfork and lit up your torch  
To protest against against equality, right under Heaven's porch

So, don't you bring up God in your hate speeches,   
And true believers look sick,  
When you have strayed the furthest, you goddamn hypocrite. 

And maybe we don't go to church.   
Maybe the LGBT Youth, has better things to do.   
Maybe we all got tired of you placing the spotlight on you.   
Say what you want and maybe it's true,   
But you cannot erase us, there's nothing you can do. 

We are the future and to those who believe;  
God loves us, there's no need to grieve. 

And to you, the "Good Christians", I will say one more thing.   
Don't fucking play holy.


	2. [LET ME BE HAPPY]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Words to my mother

"Be happy, " they say, when you tell them you're sad.   
"Just smile," they say, when you tell them you're feeling bad.   
"Go out," they say, when you're too anxious to even talk to your own dad. 

How the fuck can I be happy, when I don't feel like myself?   
When I feel like fucking dying, unlike yourself?  
When that boy right there is happy with just being himself?   
Or when that girl can openly say that she loves herself? 

Tell me that, and oh surely I will try.   
"Oh well, if you just stopped being so shy."  
It's not so easy when anxiety clouds my mind like a stormy sky.   
"Just try to be normal. Buy some girly clothes and blonde hair dye."  
Oh, so they can love some shell of a person who never asks "why"? 

No thanks, I hate myself enough already.   
Being transgender isn't just: "Get set and press ready. "

I can't keep going like this, so helpful and sappy,   
If don't learn to be selfish, I can never be happy.   
I'm so fucking tired of being so goddamn unhappy. 

Under your control of everything I do,   
Under your decision of what I wear and say too,  
We're not one person, there is actually two,   
I write out my feelings because I can't tell them to you,   
But one day I'll have to because my heart is tired and my feelings are blue. 

Loosen up your hold, let me fucking breathe,   
Remember that I'm my own person, somewhere underneath. 

This is not hate, because I do feel loved,   
But love shouldn't feel like feeling owned. 

You're my mother and I love you to death,   
But I'm slowly getting tired of sharing my breath. 

Just a bit of advice to you, my dear  
You, who have raised me, loved and cheered. 

Let your sad little boy be himself.   
Let him be happy.


	3. [ONE, TWO, THREE]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm tired

I'm not in control of my thoughts anymore.   
I plead and I cry: "Please no more."  
The thoughts are intrusive, they leave my mind sore.   
And people look at me weird when I cope by drawing gore. 

"You'll never be real," The thoughts tell me  
"You're never gonna make it," They say, can't you see?   
"You don't even look like a boy," Okay, breathe, one, two, three. 

I collect myself, the pieces on the floor  
I slip into the skin that's not me anymore  
I wish I could run away, just walk out the door  
Pretend I was someone else, easy to adore

I want to shred this skin that itches and feels sick  
I want to hide away and fucking scream, punch and kick  
Yell: "Come on now life, stop being a dick!" 

I just want to be loved for the boy I am  
Just finally drag myself through the final exam  
And for once be seen, even if just a scam

Just tell the World: "I'm here, I exist."  
Grit my teeth and clench my fists  
"Notice I'm unhappy before I break into bits!"   
Stuff like this is why kids fucking slit their wrists  
I want to stop caring just not give a shit

But I'm small and broken, in need of repair  
"You just need to calm down and get some fresh air"   
That sort of comments really aren't that rare. 

One day I'll spill out the ugly truth   
I swear I will even if it fucking breaks you  
Because trust me I'm tired of being broken too  
I'm a goddamn boy and it's nothing new. 

One day my thoughts will leave me, I will be okay  
I will be okay  
I'm going to survive  
Breathe,   
One,   
Two,   
Three. 

Time to face a new day.


	4. [STOP KILLING US]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Respect existence,   
> Or expect resistance.

"Dyke, tranny, fuckin' fag"  
Straighten your back  
And hold the tears back  
Those words hit worse than a slap  
Words can be worse than a physical attack

"Lesbo, shemale, gross faggot"   
Try to laugh and say: "Is that all you got?"   
Or maybe even try to put the bullying to a stop  
But be careful, too many words and you could get shot

Why can't this World just learn to be kind?   
That we wouldn't have to be so scared and hide?   
Be in the middle and not pick a side?   
Not be afraid of showing our pride? 

And it's not any better for our people of colour  
That walk down the streets, carrying fear as a collar   
"Go back to your country!" The racists holler

Why is it always color, the people fear?   
Black skin, rainbow flag, why do they care?   
Why do they just want us to dissappear? 

We don't need Creepypasta to read horror every day  
Look no further than the scope of the day  
"A young man murdered for being gay"   
"Non-binary teen has gone astray"   
"A trans woman shot," that's what they say

And nobody bats a fucking eye  
"Well, it wasn't my kid who got killed by that guy."   
Someone's family didn't even get to say goodbye,   
And their names are forgotten even after they die

"A gay man"   
"A black woman"   
No, his name was Simon and her name was Ann  
They can't tell you that anymore, but I bet you we can. 

The world is screwed up and it needs saving  
Patience, caring, loving and healing 

Find it in your hearts to respect existence   
Or you will be faced with even more resistance 

We will not lose this fight  
Living here is our birthright  
We will unite and bring back the light  
And one day, I'm sure everyone can live a good life.


	5. Sometimes

Sometimes, I like myself. 

Sometimes, 'sometimes' is enough. 

Sometimes, it isn't enough at all.


	6. [STAY]

Stay. A surprisingly powerful word. What can it mean? Surely four letters can't mean much, right? Stay where? Stay you? Stay here? Stay with me? Stay kind? Stay alive? Stay. A word that can mean so much. A word that means so much. So many different meanings and all of them are true. True in different ways, to different people. 

Some people might need to stay out of trouble. Some people might need to remember to stay true to themselves. Some people might just struggle to stay alive. 

It doesn't really matter how or where you have to stay. Sometimes it doesn't even matter why you have to stay. 

Just stay. Stay, please stay another day.


	7. Untitled late night thoughts

I know I won't do it  
I never would  
But I want to  
I want to do something radical  
Maniacal  
Drink too much alcohol  
Until I wake up at the hospital  
Bleed almost dry before calling 911  
Maybe getting in real trouble could be fun

I want to do something crazy  
My mind's getting hazy  
From dealing with this daily

I want you to see that I'm not okay  
-Not okay?  
Yeah, I'm fucking sad, yay!  
This hiding makes me wanna die, hooray!   
And it's getting worse day by day.

I want to do something without reasoning  
Maybe get alcohol poisoning  
Would that get you to start listening?   
Maybe noticing? 

I'm not fine  
I've stepped out of line  
I know  
But this body isn't mine  
And I wouldn't want to whine  
But I'm far from divine  
And so not fine

And I'm scared because in some time  
I know  
I'll have to define  
Myself  
To you, mother mine

And I know you won't converse  
Without meaning it, you'll make it worse  
And it hurts  
And that's why I'm writing this blank verse  
My identity feels like a curse  
And please rehearse  
How to speak to someone diverse  
Or my next car ride, might just be in a hearse. 

-Late night thoughts I'll never actually tell my mom, by Gabriel, her transgender son


End file.
